Showing posts with label Teen Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teen Stress. Show all posts

Monday, March 10, 2008

Sue Scheff: The power of hope for our kids




When surveyed by the Centers for Disease Control, 28 percent of teens say they feel sad or hopeless for weeks in a row. For some, gangs, violence and drugs are a daily reality. Thousands of others drop out of school – tired of the struggle – while untold numbers of children are caught in the middle of their parents’ divorce, feeling lost and alone.


How can we help those kids who have given up on themselves? There’s no easy way to give a child hope, goals and dreams. Yet, without it, we know that kids see no reason not to take dangerous and sometimes deadly risks. Children of Hope tells the inspiring stories of how three teens turned their life around – and shows how the counselors, teachers and community leaders helped them see and experience the opportunities their future could hold.


What can you do to help your kids feel hopeful – and set goals for today, tomorrow and beyond? Watch Children of Hope together to learn about the power of hope.


Start a conversation about life’s options and help kids talk about how they see themselves in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Sue Scheff: No Laughing Matter (Phobias and Anxieties with kids) by Connect with Kids


“They shouldn’t force the child to [meet] the clown. You introduce it to them in a way that’s slow and cautious and they see that nothing bad happens.”

– Mary Danielek, Ph.D., licensed psychologist

Just like adults, kids experience a variety of phobias. But there is one particular fear that many parents may have never heard of. It’s called coulrophobia, and, for lots of kids, it’s no laughing matter.

“What’s up, big guy? How you doin’ today?” asks a clown.

For the moment, not so well. Grayson, who is 3 years old, shakes his head “no” at the clown and looks scared.

Grayson has “coulrophobia” -- a fear of clowns.

“I’m just scared of them because they have make-up on them,” says Grayson.

“And I said, ‘Well, I wear make up, what’s so scary?’ He said, ‘Well ‘cause their make-up’s very colorful.’
I don’t know…I guess, somehow they’re different and they’re not in his everyday life experience,” says Laura Nix, Grayson’s mother.

The University of Sheffield in England surveyed 250 children, and none -- not a single child -- liked clowns. Experts say some kids may be afraid because of something that happened years before.

“Specific phobias that happen like that usually occur after one traumatic event. You can see the little girl next to you at the circus freak-out because of the clown. There’s one event, and after that the child says, ‘I’m afraid of clowns,’” says Mary Danielek, Ph.D., licensed psychologist.

She says parents shouldn’t dismiss that fear. Some children are really afraid.

“They shouldn’t force the child to [meet] the clown. You introduce it to them in a way that’s slow and cautious and they see that nothing bad happens,” says Danielek.

“I know, too, that when he’s afraid of something, if you can kind of introduce him to it in a non-threatening way, that helps,” says Nix.

Patience and understanding can help as well. Psychologists say that in most cases, coulrophobia goes away as toddlers refine their language skills and understand that clowns are harmless. However, in some cases, the phobia can last into adulthood.

Tips for Parents

Anxiety is defined as "apprehension without apparent cause." It usually occurs when there's no immediate threat to a person's safety or well-being, but the threat feels real. Anxiety makes a person want to escape the situation -- fast. (Nemours Foundation)

The heart beats quickly, the body might begin to perspire and "butterflies" in the stomach soon follow. However, a little bit of anxiety can actually help people stay alert and focused. (Nemours Foundation)

Typical childhood fears change with age. They include fear of strangers, heights, darkness, animals, blood, insects, and being left alone. Children often learn to fear a specific object or situation after having an unpleasant experience, such as a dog bite or an accident. (Nemours Foundation)

Recognize that the fear is real. As trivial as a fear may seem, it feels real to your child and it's causing him or her to feel anxious and afraid. Being able to talk about fears helps -- words often take some of the power out of the negative feeling. If you talk about it, it can become less powerful. (Nemours Foundation)


Never belittle the fear as a way of forcing your child to overcome it. Telling your child, "Don't be ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!" may get your child to go to bed, but it won't make the fear go away. (Nemours Foundation)


Don't cater to fears, either. If your child doesn't like dogs, don't cross the street deliberately to avoid one. This will just reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided. Provide support and gentle care as you approach the feared object or situation with your child. (Nemours Foundation)

References
Nemours Foundation